Monday, May 23, 2016

My LEGAL Smoke Blend

In April when I was really depressed so much so I scared my self and my husband because I felt like there was nothing to get up for anymore and all my symptoms had gotten worse. I have not been diagnosed with depression but I know I have some type of depression. I been dealing with it since high school and gotten more frequent in the last four years(since I moved to Las Vegas). In the last year it has gotten worse and dangerous.

The ONLY thing that got me up from bed and got to feel giddy and happy (while thinking of it) was thinking that I was going to get high on drugs. I have never done anything illegal like drugs, I have no idea what it feels like or what people with drugs go through from experience because I have 0 personal knowledge. The only thing I have had an addiction to was over the counter pills that I used when my anxiety got me sick -it's under control now I occasionally drink them. Other than that I have no idea how to go about purchasing illegal marijuana or how to roll a joint or anything else. 

The best thing I got was a mixture of herbs that I mixed together. After I got up from bed happy that I thought I was going to get stone and not feel and feel numb and forget about what I was thinking about I went to my desktop computer and decided to plug it back in (after I had disconnected it for days) I went online did some quick research on legal smokable herbs that were consider depressants from: http://www.smokableherbs.com/category/all-herbs/depressant-alike/ and then I went on Etsy and order a bunch of herbs -four to be exact and I order this glass smoking pipe in the picture above and waited. 

While I waited I became anxious and kept having the thoughts I was having which consisted of recycled intrusive memories that came back to me after taking a course (c-part tactics). I was happier that I was going to get my herbs, but when I thought of the memories I got urges to self-injure my arm ...the urges have been there since I took the course which was months back but because I had other things I was stressed about I think it became worse. So I hurt my arm. 
 I finally received my herbs and then grinded them by hand (now I have a new tool a grinder) and my glass pipe and I fill it up and smoke it. The website says that some of these herbs make you feel a certain high but for me I just feel good. I am NOT impaired in any way or high... and to be honest it saved me<--------- My own personal opinion. It did save me... I was able to get out of my really dark depressive mood I was in, I was able to get up, I was able to start feeling my appetite again, I was able to finish my Capstone Project course that I thought I was going to now fail and get this I received an A! I was able to do months of homework in less than a week now that's an accomplishment, I was not happy out of no where though that's still a work in progress at the moment but I am no longer crying how I was, I am not hurting myself, I am more relaxed, less anxious, I am not in a dark scary place... so to me it is safe to say that my "smoke blend" helped me. 

I am not worried about the health consequences of it yet... I worry about that when the time comes. If smoking my herbs in drug paraphernalia (not illegal if there is nothing illegal inside)  working for me and has aid me why not? It is not hurting anyone, I am not impaired, it legal and not breaking the law, and I am still careful with smoking it... at the moment I am not working much so I have all this spare time that I can smoke it. I don't need to smoke it as often now... sure I bet is not the same as smoking the illegal version and works slower or not as potent, or the effect not last long but whatever its good. I like it and I will continue to use it. The only thing I don't have the guts to do yet is to take the glass pipe out of the house. I can still be arrest for having it even though there is nothing illegal inside and it is not illegal to carry here they can still arrest me if they feel like it. I can think of worse side effects from drugs that a doctor might prescribe me so no one should say otherwise.

They may be more potent if smoke on their own- These are the following herbs I am smoking in my blend.
http://www.smokableherbs.com/white-sage/
White Sage
Mullein
Damiana
Uva Ursi Leaf

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