Monday, June 27, 2016

Nocturnal Panic Attack at 2:30am This Morning

I awoke to a nocturnal panic attack early this morning around 2:30 (ish) in the am. I have not had them since the c-part course where I had a few in a short term period during the course in the Fall semester of last year.

I think having one when you are sleeping soundly and waking up frantically shaking out of no where is worse than when you get them during the day. I think the fact that your out of it and suddenly your awaken to an attack is scary because when you get a panic attack during the day you might get a small hint that you might have one not this!

So I was sleeping and I woke to my body shaking and I got the chills. The shaking feels out of control in my case it's like when you shiver when your cold, but 10x and you can't stop it. I tried to cover myself (even though it will not help me) and I could not. I heard my husband snoring and he woke up to me hyperventilating. I was shivering, hyperventilating, and then he told me "get up and walk it off" he thought I was having a leg cramp. I was trying to tell him that I was having a panic attack, not a leg cramp. Although that's what I was trying to say and heard it in my mind the words did not flow out because I felt I could not speak. So I got up and I started crying now... ok you follow me? body still shaking, hyperventilating, crying, and I got up and I felt my body stiffen in some areas and feeling of cramping (which I am assuming from the involuntary shaking and contraction of muscles?). So he turns on our red lamp lights and tells me "oh honey" "what's going on" <---- I still could not tell him but he can hear me hyperventilate and cry so he told me to fix the door and fix the curtain and I walked to it and opened our door for the light to come in and fixed the curtain to allow air to come in into the room. I think doing that helped me a little bit the fact that I was touching objects ( I think that's what they call grounding) and I went back to bed and I covered myself; everything lessened and eventually the symptoms subsided; that was when I was able to tell him it was a panic attack and not a cramp. I felt shaky afterwards so he held my hand after I recovered enough; I got up to make some tea to relax myself, laid in bed and I turned on cellphone because I could not sleep. I went to Facebook and saw that one of my mom's family members in Honduras had died that morning... which is today (I think there it was already the afternoon) she was fighting cancer but today she died. Sad news. I wrote my sympathies and turned the cell off and eventually I fell asleep after drinking my tea.

In the morning when I got up I printed out a panic diary work sheet and filled it out first time filling them out, I think it's wise since I beginning to have them more often I think it might be useful if I go back to the Psychologist with my info. I printed out the panic attack diary worksheet I printed out to fill out from this website.

I also printed out this worksheet called Intrusion diary to help me figure out triggers of my intrusive memories ----->  I know yesterday I was watching some stuff on tv that included a lot of sex scenes, and all day I had some memories come to me on and off I am not sure if that has anything to do with my nocturnal panic attack. I also thought I was having a nightmare or I was dreaming but I can't be sure because after the attack I could not remember if I had a nightmare or not just had the feeling that I did but since I can't remember I can't be sure.

All seems good now... smoked a bowl today after not smoking for what seemed forever I did replenished my stash though just in case I need to smoke more during the week but I do not anticipate it. No intrusive thoughts just yesterday... so that's good.

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