Monday, October 17, 2016

Zoning Out Update

I am still zoning out here and has become an annoyance especially when I am trying to study or trying to do math homework... and maybe while driving too. It happens during different times actually... when watching movies or television, while driving alone, while listening to specific music(I can't listen to certain stuff anymore, like the music I have here on my blog because it triggers me), it has happened this year a few times after being intimate, and when I am on the computer I can read something or see something and it triggers my memories. I am pretty sure it's all connected ... memories=depression, zoning out =the need to self medicate or self-harm. Am I right?

I have not felt as numb as I used too so I guess that's a positive right? When I think about my memories and such I feel very small... does that mean I am going back to the ages I used to be when I had my traumas?- I know you have no idea what I am talking about because I have not explain that part of my life ...yet, I have hope that one day I can just acknowledge it and move forward.

I still have not made the appointment to see the Psychologist at school yet...I don't know what is stopping me from doing so.

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