Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Therapy Appointment Update

I went to my therapy appointment yesterday night and I am happy to say that it was not as bad as I thought... well not yet :) I am finally making the steps to love myself part of loving myself and getting healthy in all aspects of my life is part of my promise that I made myself at the beginning of the year. Yes that includes therapy... something that I have been fighting since my teens.

My husband did not let me drive to my appointment... I don't think he thinks I will be stable enough to drive safely after a therapy appointment or if I am to anxious before an appointment... he is right even though I was smiling after the appointment I can get pretty emotional. He did sit in the dark parking lot listening to a podcast and eating his payday chocolate bar he got at the gas station lol that's like the only places he can find that old candy bar that no one eats... I got m&m's for after my session. It was a reward treat :)

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Second Article The Mighty

My second article is on The Mighty check it out.

Anxiety During Exam

Ugly Ducklings?

On our walk the other day aren't they beautiful? who said they were ugly ducklings?

New Hiking Trail @Red Rock

Last week we went hiking to Red Rock again to a new trail that we have not been to before and it was a great workout - perhaps because we are out of shape... it had recently rained so there was this small river passing through. Nice trees in that area too! reminded me back when we lived in Reno. Forget the damn Las vegas Strip...Red Rock is one of my favorite places to go ... a beautiful sort of hidden jewel.

Look towards the end of the post for river video sounds nice!

Therapy Appointment Soon

I did it! I made an appointment to see a therapist; and that took a lot to do, but I did it and I am proud that I have taken the step to take care of myself as I promised at the beginning of the year. I am anxious about it though... actually I started feeling anxious and sick after I sent him the first email like a week ago... good thing we meet in a couple days! or else I would be more of a mess the longer I wait.

I also have to remind myself unfortunately that I have to be honest and not lie like I have in the past... that's what got me here in the first place. If I would have told the truth about certain things when I was a teenager I might have gotten help many years ago. I have recently told my mother that I was looking for a Psychologist that I needed to go because of the academic problems and issues at my community college that I have been having, but what she does not know is the issues and things that I have never told her or anyone else about. The academic thing is just the cherry on top... a slice of my pie... I think if I told her everything I might just kill her from a heart attack (I honestly believe that).

I am really hoping it works out with this therapist because it's a pain looking for someone that might be able to help and the costs are too high for my husband and I since he has not had luck with his job search. To be honest I feel I need medication, but I truly never given therapy a chance and I have felt forced to go... so I want to give it a chance first before I seek out someone to prescribe me medication. If I give it a chance and I can talk about things from the past and etc then maybe everything can improve and perhaps I will not need medication. We will see hopefully everything works out.