Saturday, February 18, 2017

Therapy Appointment Soon

I did it! I made an appointment to see a therapist; and that took a lot to do, but I did it and I am proud that I have taken the step to take care of myself as I promised at the beginning of the year. I am anxious about it though... actually I started feeling anxious and sick after I sent him the first email like a week ago... good thing we meet in a couple days! or else I would be more of a mess the longer I wait.

I also have to remind myself unfortunately that I have to be honest and not lie like I have in the past... that's what got me here in the first place. If I would have told the truth about certain things when I was a teenager I might have gotten help many years ago. I have recently told my mother that I was looking for a Psychologist that I needed to go because of the academic problems and issues at my community college that I have been having, but what she does not know is the issues and things that I have never told her or anyone else about. The academic thing is just the cherry on top... a slice of my pie... I think if I told her everything I might just kill her from a heart attack (I honestly believe that).

I am really hoping it works out with this therapist because it's a pain looking for someone that might be able to help and the costs are too high for my husband and I since he has not had luck with his job search. To be honest I feel I need medication, but I truly never given therapy a chance and I have felt forced to go... so I want to give it a chance first before I seek out someone to prescribe me medication. If I give it a chance and I can talk about things from the past and etc then maybe everything can improve and perhaps I will not need medication. We will see hopefully everything works out.

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