Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Just Not Feeling Well

This morning I felt sad... and I can't identify why. I just woke up that way? I been having good days this week and some of last week, but I have also been having those moments where I just cry, feel numb or empty I am not sure which. This morning I did not want to get up and while getting ready I felt sad and I was crying, but trying to be discrete. At some point a thought came over me regarding self-injury; it was not that bad in my opinion and I am not trying to minimize the issue, but it really was not that bad I thought about it and I said no I can't I have to go to work soon and I got out of the bathroom. I have not self-injured in months and I honestly did not think that I would self-injure again, but thinking about it just happened. I did have to work so getting out of the bathroom was outmost importance. The bathroom has been the area where I have used in the past the most to self-injure and I still have some hidden tools-well not so much anymore I told my husband like a month ago that they were in there and I had said I would throw them away, but I have not ...I will get to it eventually.

I wrote down a few triggers that I am assuming one or more can be responsible and sent it to my therapist. The fact that I had to go to work freaked me out a little because I haven't been like that in the mornings or before going to work, and honestly I rather call and say I am sick... , but I was able to finally compose my self and I was fine. I am pet sitting this week for a few days so I am hoping that helps my mood a bit.




If you or someone you know needs help, please visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.

2 comments :

  1. Hi there, hope you feel better.
    Sincerely, Smokable Herbs Admin.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I have my ups and downs, but getting through it.

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